Check out any pregnancy or parenting magazine and all you'll see are images of Pinterest-worthy homes with beautiful decor and perfectly organized baby clothes. They'll even be folded. The moms will be glowing, freshly bathed, and fit. There won't be any bodily fluids leaking out of them. Their boobs will be of a reasonable size--not completely engorged with milk; no blue veins, no stretch marks.
Does your life look like this? Mine doesn't either.
If you've just had a baby, no one should expect it to, especially you. You genuinely have more important things to do, like keeping a small human alive, and maybe finding a few minutes to take a nap.
Real life with a real baby does not look magazine perfect.
When I go to someone's house who's just had a baby, I do not expect it to be clean. I expect dirty dishes in the sink. I expect crumbs on the carpet. I expect water glasses everywhere. I expect piles of laundry all over the house. I expect things to be imperfect.
Because I've been there, and I realize now I was way too hard on myself. I was too concerned about what other people would think when they came over to visit. I worried that they would feel uncomfortable if the house was messy. I tidied. I put the laundry away. I picked up the piles of crap and put them in a bedroom and shut the door. But I was the one who had just had a baby! I vacuumed the whole house just a few days after giving birth and while I was recovering from a fourth degree tear.
Why do we hold ourselves to these ridiculous standards?
Part of my job as a postpartum doula is to give your family a hand with light housework. Don't feel bad about it. It's part of my job. Really. So please don't pre-clean for me, or anyone else for that matter.
Looking back now, I don't know why I felt the need to make it look like things at our house were "back to normal." In reality, I was completely exhausted and in a ridiculous amount of pain. I had no business trying to do housework. When you've just had a baby, there is no "getting back to normal." There is only adjusting to the new normal.
So, as your postpartum doula, I'm not going to clean to Pinterest standards. I'm going to help you adjust to the new normal and make sure you can see the bottom of your kitchen sink at least once a day.
My advice is to revel in the postpartum period and let go of whatever you are feeling guilty about, or feeling like you are failing at because this is one of the few times in life when you have the perfect excuse to let those things go.
Curious about how a postpartum doula can lend you a hand? Click to find out more.